"Nice of you to show up! Do you know how long I've been standing here? Are you lot on strike or something? Is it a Sunday service? Is there a bus off the road? Look at him! He doesn't care! He doesn't care!"

Not all pensioners are 'muppets'. Only the ones who make a nuisance of themselves have affectionately become known as muppets to Glasgow bus drivers. These are the ones who:

• Make loud mouthed complaints
• Old men who use foul language when relating a previous bad experience on the bus
• Crooners
• Those who get on the bus without first checking where it's actually going
• Ones who tell you that your driving is 'ridiculous'.
• Stinkers
• Ones that are just irredeemably stupid

Those are the main ones.

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