"Someone else is paying me on, driver, right? Whit you lookin' at? D'you know who am ur? I'll have you!"

The Glasgow Ned (Non Educated Delinquent). Also known as the Chav or the Townie. These urban cavemen are relatively harmless on their own but can become very dangerous when they come on the bus in large groups.

Their gang (or Young Team) provide a sense of belonging of which their dysfunctional home life has left them bereft. For some neds this involves nothing more than getting drunk and "goin' aboot." However, other neds indulge in petty crime (and some not so petty) in order to validate their place within their Young Team. On a bus, this usually means: smoking, drinking, shouting, swearing, picking fights, smashing windows, seat slashing and extensive graffiti.

The neds' drink of choice is Buckfast - a fortified wine made by Roman Catholic Benedictine monks in Devon. The drink in known to make some people go crazy and act violently. When you consider that Red Bull is marketed as an 'energy drink' due to it's massive caffeine content of 32mg per 100ml, Buckfast on the other hand is marketed as a 'red wine based aperitif' but packs a colossal 37.5mg of caffeine per 100ml. Rocket fuel.

For the definitive ned site visit: glasgowsurvival.co.uk

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