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The neds were in a funny mood tonight. As I stood at the relief point in that noxious yeast infection known as Whiteinch, I could hear fearful shouts and screams coming from the cheerless back streets nearby. With police vans going up and down I reckoned there must have been some serious ned on ned action going on in the shadows. Most likely a Buckfast fuelled turf war, not that there's anything worth fighting over in Whiteinch.

Despite living in a fairly civilised Western society, the peasant class will always find something to fight over. At least when their Grandfathers were neds over half a century ago they had something meaningful to fight over i.e Europe. But what have today's neds in Whiteinch got to fight over? Let's see, there's a vandalised phone box, an abandoned sideboard and an upturned bath. Quite a prize.

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